Jeroc slammed his fist against the table, startling Cella. "I don't know! I just don't know. I'm as lost as any of you."

Cella felt frustrated and bitter. "I thought you were supposed to know. You're the great and mighty Jedi master."

Jeroc shoved his chair aside and grabbed Cella by her shoulders. "I am not. How can I lead you when I don't know where to go?" His voice trembled with emotion, and he turned his back on her and left the conference room. Thea looked up at her, worry in her eyes.

Cella lifted Thea gently off her lap. "Logan, please watch her for me. I need to talk to Jeroc."

She walked out into the hallway where she found Jeroc leaning against the wall, his brow wrinkled in frustration. Cella took his hand. "Jeroc, what's wrong?"

Jeroc turned his face away from her. "Everything. I haven't done right by Shayla...or by you. I could have gone right up to that Dark One's ship and saved Shayla when she was orbiting Yavin IV. Instead, I set off on a crazy chase across the galaxy. And I sent you away when I needed you the most." Cella could hardly stand the look on his face.

"Jeroc, you can't erase mistakes." Cella couldn't resist keeping her hands out of his hair. "You of all people should know that. But you can do something right now."

"And that would be?"

"You can give this search for Shayla all of your power and ability." It felt strange to be giving Jeroc counsel like this. Cella pressed on. "And you can tell me that you love me."

Jeroc smiled. "What's the point? You already know."

"Just say it, fool."

Cella's comment earlier in the day had spurred his resolve. He was no longer going to sit around while Cella and Jeroc twiddled their thumbs...and acted like a pair of lovesick nerfs. He was going to find Shayla himself. He was not going to stand idly by while his friend was...wiped out.

Logan slipped into Thea's cabin and brushed her cheek gently. An orphan with no family, he had become very fond of Thea, and he didn't want to leave her. But Shayla's rescue was paramount, and the others would take care of her.

Readjusting his knapsack, he stopped at Cella's cabin next. He was disgusted but not surprised to see her and Jeroc curled up asleep under the covers. Her belt had been tossed on the floor haphazardly. Logan picked it up and removed her lightsaber, shoving it into his jacket. He couldn't build one of his own, and he had a feeling he would need one.

With a last glance at his two mentors, Logan headed down to the shuttle bay. Bare minutes later, an A-wing shot from the belly of the ship, headed for the void of hyperspace and a distant star whose coordinates the pilot had pulled from a dream...

--------------------

Erik had the usual trouble going to sleep. His mind tensed every time he was just about unconcious as a vision of Shayla, violet lightsaber raised, popped up in his mind's eye. After about an hour or two of this, Erik finally managed to drift off to sleep, albeit restless. Sleep, at any level, was better than none.

Then, just as the beginnings of some sort of dream began to haunt him, the sound of his comlink jarred him from sleep. Erik turned the nightstand light on, grabbed his comlink and talked into it. "Captain Erik Kartan."

"Captain, one of our A-wings has just been stolen! Right out of the main hanger!"

That's odd. Had to be someone already aboard the shuttle.

"Connect me with the A-wing's comm frequency."

"Yes sir," the other replied. In only a moment, a click could be heard, and Erik knew the next words he spoke would be heard by the A-wing pilot.

"Unidentified A-Wing pilot, respond, unindentified A-Wing pilot, respond."

Who the heck would just steal an A-Wing like that?

Then, a nagging thought at the back of Erik's mind surfaced. One of his workers would have no need to steal the shuttle. They had access to them, unless they were on probation. The Jedi weren't theives by their very nature. The male padawan though...

Erik switched comm frequencies back to the messenger "To'vuru," he said, "Contact the Jedi in their guest quarters and find out if all their group is still here. I think we have ourselves a rogue padawan."

"Yes sir, on it at once."

With that, the messenger's com frequency closed, leaving Erik on the frequency with the A-wing pilot.

Erik tried to pull his name from the introductions earlier. Morgan, Loran...LOGAN! "Logan, this is Erik Kartan. I know you think this will help Shayla, but it won't. We need to stick together on this, it'll be a very dangerous mission. Logan, do you read me?"

--------------------

--------------------

Minus her lightsaber.

Cella shoved her fist into her mouth to stifle a cry. She tried to deny it to herself, but she knew the instant that she saw her lightsaber missing that Logan was gone. Faintly, the patter of Thea's feet could be heard coming to the cabin.

Beside her, Jeroc stretched and sat up. "What's wrong?"

Cella turned to him. "My lightsaber's gone, Jeroc." They looked at each other, neither one wanting to acknowledge the possibilities.

The cabin comm beeped, and Cella threw on a soft robe and got up to answer it. "This is Cella Poliani speaking." She listened as the comm officer told her of a stolen A-wing leaving the hangar, and asked if it was Jeroc's padawan.

"Yes, it is," Jeroc replied coldly, having come to stand beside her. "I have no idea why he would do something like this. Probably some crazy dream from drinking too much ale before bed, and he thinks it's the Force. Can you try to get a tractor beam on him?"

Cella didn't hear the answer. She was too busy trying to contact Logan. He had completely shut himself off from her and Jeroc. I'm going to conduct my own search, were his only words. You've waited too long to try and save Shayla, and I won't let her fall to the dark side.

Cella shook her head at Jeroc. "Nothing. He's not coming back." Just then, the cabin door slipped open and Thea tiptoed in, her face sleepy and worried. "Jeroc, go talk to Captain Kartan. I want to stay here with Thea, and work on getting Logan to get his tail back here."

Try as he might, he couldn't regret it. And there was still time to try and reason with the kid. Maybe he could apologize and Logan would come back and it would all be fine...

Right.

He found the captain's stateroom, knocked on the door. "Captain?"

The door slid open, and Jeroc could see Erik talking into a communit. "Logan, this is Erik Kartan. I know you think this will help Shayla, but it won't. We need to stick together on this, it'll be a very dangerous mission. Logan, do you read me?"

Jeroc ran to the comm, hoping Erik would forgive his intrusion, considering the urgency of the situation. "Logan! This is Jeroc. Logan, you need to come back. I know you're impatient, but we are honestly doing the best we can to help Shayla. You have to trust us."

There was merely a stony silence.

--------------------

"Logan, this is Erik Kartan. I know you think this will help Shayla, but it won't. We need to stick together on this, it'll be a very dangerous mission. Logan, do you read me?"

"Logan! This is Jeroc. Logan, you need to come back. I know you're impatient, but we are honestly doing the best we can to help Shayla. You have to trust us."

Logan smiled cynically to himself. People had said that to him all his life and it had only ended up getting him hurt. Cella and Thea's silent pleas hurt, though. For a second, he nearly turned around for them, but he steeled himself. He had to be strong to get Shayla back. All these geezers sitting around on their hands, and nobody seemingly making a move to help her...

Firming his resolve, Logan Murroe pressed a button, and the whiteness of hyperspace opened willingly to him. He'd save his friend first and apologize later.

((OOC: Follow Logan to the Great Temple at Khar Delba.))

[ 10-06-2001 10:57 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Rogue Angel ]

--------------------

"Captain?" the voice of the Jedi Master called.

Erik hit a remote switch, causing the door to slide open. Meanwhile he continued to try to get Logan to respond, but before he knew it the Jedi Master snatched the comm away from him and made a plea of his own.

"Logan! This is Jeroc. Logan, you need to come back. I know you're impatient, but we are honestly doing the best we can to help Shayla. You have to trust us."

As Erik merely turned and arched an eyebrow at the Jedi Master standing next to him, the kid cut the connection off.

He's gone to hyperspace, Erik knew. But where the bloody Hell was he going??? The kid was right--they needed to get with it and find Shayla now. Heck, that's what Erik had wanted all along, so he knew precisely what had driven the boy to react this way. He'd have done the same himself long ago, had he any sort of lead on where she was. Then again, maybe that was where he had failed her...maybe he should have gone out to look for her regardless of whether he knew her location or not, trusting the Force alone for guidance.

But damn it all, his Force skills just weren't that good. That was what the Jedi were supposed to do, but they hadn't. And now perhaps Shayla was lost to them, forever.

A pain settled itself in Erik's stomach, and he wondered if Jeroc Mahoy had a clue about what he was going through and how he felt. He just wanted Shayla back, safe and sound. And he would stop at nothing, no matter the risk involved. He was ready to storm out himself and find her even now.

But strangley enough, after his discussion with Terrin Danner, Erik knew the shot they were taking now was going to be the best one. No, he didn't like trusting Terrin completely. But somehow he knew it was the right thing to do.

But Sithspawn! Now they'd have to save Logan as well as Shayla!

Erik turned from his reverie of thoughts back to the Jedi Master. He opened his mouth at first to ask what the hell they were going to do, but then something came to his mind.

The onboard security system on the one-person fighters he and Shayla had installed last year...

"We can track him," Erik told the Jedi. "Last year Shayla and I installed security systems on all our one-man fighters for protection so that we would know where they were at all times, should someone on a run get...intercepted. I can also alert all my information sources on different planets to look out for him and the A-wing. I'll also contact Terrin Danner and his fleet, just in case Logan shows up in space over near Khar Delba. Got any other ideas, Master Mahoy?"

[ 10-05-2001 12:43 AM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Erik Kartan ]

--------------------

--------------------

Kartan nodded, absorbing the information Jeroc gave. Jeroc continued, "I apologize for the theft of your A-wing, Captain Kartan...and most of all, for anything he does that might disrupt our rescue of Shayla. Believe me, I want to get her back as badly as you do..."

He saw a funny look in Kartan's eye and sensed that he was probably wrong about that.

"...and I do believe we're going about it the right way. But unfortunately, Logan doesn't. I can't help feeling this is partly my fault." A pang of guilt shot through Jeroc. "If the apprentice errs, the master has not done what he ought. The decisions about this rest in all our hands, but the Force tells me we probably shouldn't go after Logan at the moment."

He looked Kartan in the eye. "So, do you think it's about time for another conference? This has definitely thrown a bent hydrospanner into our plans." Jeroc took a wild guess. "And I'm thinking you've got some new leads we might all need to know about, hm?"

--------------------

Finally, Thea's sobs slowed, and Cella asked, "What did you see in your dream again? This might be important. A woman with red hair? And Shayla was there, chained up?"

Thea nodded, dribbling tears on Cella's robe.

Cella paused in thought. Thea obviously had a deep connection with Shayla. So had Cella herself, before Shayla had...lost herself. Perhaps if she could go into Thea's mind, the combination of Cella's power and Thea's link with Shayla might give them the connection they needed.

But was it worth the risk? Thea was very upset, and Cella feared she had suffered real emotional damage over the past weeks. Any kind of backlash might injure Thea's child-mind badly. She would discuss it with Jeroc, and perhaps when Thea calmed down, they would try it.

Cella sighed. "Yes, Thea, Logan has made the choice to run away and look for Shayla on his own. I wish he hadn't done that. Together, we are more than the sum of our parts, and we have the strength to confront whoever is holding Shayla. Besides, that A-wing belongs to Captain Kartan and not to Logan. It was wrong of him to take what wasn't his. But I feel that wherever Shayla is, we'll find Logan there too."

Cella continued, "Believe me, Thea, Master Jeroc and I love you and we will protect you no matter what happens. Try not to worry too much about Logan. Just try to send comforting thoughts his way and ask him to come back to us. Don't let the dreams bother you either. Dreams have no power over one who has the Force."

No, Erik thought to himself. I don't think you do.

"...and I do believe we're going about it the right way. But unfortunately, Logan doesn't. I can't help feeling this is partly my fault." A pang of guilt shot through Jeroc. "If the apprentice errs, the master has not done what he ought. The decisions about this rest in all our hands, but the Force tells me we probably shouldn't go after Logan at the moment."

Erik listened to the Jedi Master as he talked, trying to stay on focus.

Maybe they shouldn't go after Logan at the moment. Then again, maybe the kid did have something. Erik hoped to goodness that the security system stayed in tact.

"So, do you think it's about time for another conference? This has definitely thrown a bent hydrospanner into our plans," the Jedi continued. "And I'm thinking you've got some new leads we might all need to know about, hm?"

"First off, you can call me Erik. Seems we are going to be working together on this, so we might as well start on a first name basis," Erik said. "And don't blame yourself about Logan. He's your student, but he made the choice to do what he did, not you. You can only teach, he has to do the learning," Erik reasoned.

"I do have an important lead," he continued. "Seems Terrin Danner knows more than I suspected, and he's willing to help us. I'll be glad to discuss more details with you and Jedi Poliani, but you should know now that as soon as we receive coordinates the fleet will head out to meet Terrin's. He's got a heck of a lead, as I've mentioned...and well, what do you say we go find your partner and talk about it?"

[ 10-06-2001 10:52 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Erik Kartan ]

--------------------

Jeroc spoke first. "Yet another mysterious rendezvous, eh?" A smile curved his aristocratic lips. "But I have a feeling this one will be more productive. Far more productive."

"You've got that right," Cella interjected. She was relieved that she wouldn't have to try linking up through Thea, who sat on her lap. She didn't want to put the little girl through any more anguish. "However, I can't help hoping that it's a long hyperspace journey. I desperately need to build a new lightsaber--Logan stole mine. Fortunately, I think I have everything I need back on Pride of Yavin."

Jeroc glanced at her. "Should we head back to the Pride now?

Cella shrugged. "Can't think of a better time. You and I can pilot it to the rendezvous point, if Erik will be so kind as to give us the coordinates. We'll travel with the Stargazer Fleet, naturally."

Jeroc stood and shook Erik's hand. "Thank you for all you've done for us, Erik. We've got your comm freq, and we'll keep in touch with you." He put his arm around Cella's shoulder. "Now we Jedi will head 'home', and we'll prepare to travel with your fleet to the rendezvous point."

--------------------

This being the case, he didn't return to bed til a couple of hours after the conference with the Jedi. They were back on their ship, on course with the Stargazer fleet to K'eel Doba. And Erik hoped they were getting more sleep than he was.

Erik knew the connection he had with Shayla through the Force was draining him--he was exhausted. Her anger was relentless, yet at the same time her love and devotion to him remained steadfast. Erik wondered how in the Universe she was managing to keep up both emotions with such passion.

Then again, he did know why she could do so. Somehow she was associating her right to be angry with her need for him.

This could be a problem. Erik wasn't upset that she had so suddenly and solidly admitted she loved him. He had wanted to hear those words from her for a long time, to confirm that she felt what he did. But using anger as a sounding board for declaring love did not result in a solid foundation for a relationship. He wanted her to love him, and he knew she did. But Erik wanted her to tell him on sane terms, not in a fit of rage brought on by believing that he was the only one left who truly cared about her.

Erik sighed and closed his eyes, seeking to calm the growing anguish within him. Shayla was falling, and he knew her love for him might be her one and only lifeline. He didn't understand how the Shayla that he knew and loved could be bent to believe that anger and hatred were right. And somehow, Erik also knew that she didn't believe these things were right...at least not yet.

But she was slipping...she was looking for someone or something solid and firm to latch onto and cling to for support. The reality of this brought tears to the eyes of a man who usually remained calm and steadfast. The Shayla he knew stood firm on her own. But now, she was slowly but surely losing her bright spirit, her love of life, and her sanity.

And all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and assure her that everything would be allright.

But Shayla somehow seemed resigned to the idea that what she was doing was right and where she was was the place she should be. And Erik knew deep down that every situation a person is faced with is somehow a part of the will of the Force, no matter how wrong it may seem.

He could only hope that the Force would guide him to where she was, and that he would still be able to reach her if and when he found her...

[ 10-07-2001 10:49 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Erik Kartan ]

--------------------

--------------------

Jeroc turned over, stroked her cheek. "Can't sleep?"

She propped herself on her elbow and turned to face him. "No. I'm too afraid of what's going to happen now, with Logan gone. And I took a little time to meditate...Jeroc, Shayla is in deep. She may not even want us to take her from where she is." Funny, she hadn't realized that before she'd said those words to Jeroc.

Jeroc pulled her close. "Try not to worry. I know it sounds insipid, but even Jedi can think too much about things. Don't think those possibilities haven't crossed my mind, too. The only way I stop from going crazy is focusing on the practical. Rendezvous points, the drive systems on the Pride...you."

Cella collapsed back onto the pillow. "I'm just afraid I'm not up to what's about to happen, Jeroc. I've never been as strong or as skillful as you."

"Don't say that. Your strengths are just different from mine. You have a skill for communicating with people, for seeing their true selves, that I've never had."

"Not like that's going to be real important in a lightsaber battle with a Sith."

Jeroc sighed. "This is not a battle of lightsabers. This is a battle between light and dark, and Shayla is the battleground. Everything we Jedi stand for is going to be challenged, and I couldn't think of a better defender than you."

Cella thought. "I remember the first time I touched the Dark Side. I was just a kid, a hungry four-year-old on the underlevels of Coruscant. There was a boy, another street vrelt who was always beating me up and stealing the food I'd scrounged. One day, I suddenly..." She took a deep breath. "I wished that he would die. The other street kids and I watched as invisible hands beat him into a wall. None of us knew what was going on. It wasn't until I'd gotten my Jedi training that I realized what I had done."

Jeroc rubbed her back gently. "You were a child, Cella. You weren't to blame for what you did."

"It isn't that." Cella turned away from him. "I may lose control of my emotions again...and who knows what will happen? I'm a full-fledged Jedi now, not a child."

"Believe me, it won't happen." Jeroc gathered her into his arms. "I'm here with you now, and I won't let that happen."

And he would waste not another single second at that moment in letting her know just how much he loved her.

Part of Erik's sudden calmness and resolve came from the fact that something a bit different from the unrelenting anger that had been radiating from Shayla was there now. She was still angry, and he could still feel it deep within her Force-sense. But she seemed oddly certain and calm.

Resigned to feeling the emotion within? No, not resigned...rather, ACCEPTING of the emotion within.

And just maybe in believing that she had a point. Erik had refused to take his trials, after all, because part of him never understood why locking feelings away was part of the Jedi code. Your feelings are a part of you, and denying them, to Erik, just seemed...wrong. Then again, submerging yourself in your anger didn't seem right to him either. But maybe there was hope for Shayla yet.

That fact had calmed his spirit lightyears, and had given him the strength to awake rested in the morning despite the lack of sleep.

Besides, there was nothing a good strong cup of caf couldn't cure.

Erik hadn't been on deck very long when his commlink beeped. Letting Katrina take over command of the deck, he wandered back to his office and answered the comm.

"Erik, Terrin Danner here."

Sheesh, I hope he's not calling to say he's changed his mind on this agreement of ours. "Yes?"

"I'm onboard my ship the Eagle on the way to Khar Delba. We've been discussing the Sith that we might be facing shortly, and ysalamari have been brought up as a possible way to face the Sith on our terms. Apparently, the creatures live on Khar Delba so we can find them there, but none of us knows what they look like," Terrin explained.

"So you were wondering if I could find you some information on the critters," Erik surmised.

"Yes, that would be most helpful. Can you?"

"Sure. I think I have some stuff on them around here somewhere, actually, being in the information smuggling business and all. But then, you knew that to begin with."

Terrin nodded. "Yes, that's what I was thinking. Can you transmit us that info? Maybe a picture or two and some characteristics?"

"I'll be right on it," Erik promised. "By the way, how far is your fleet from our rendezvous point?"

"I think they are scheduled to drop out out of hyperspace in about seventeen standard hours. How far are you from arrival?"

"Somewhere around twenty standard hours, give our take an hour."

"I'll let Aaron know where you are, and will be awaiting the ysalamari info."

"Okay, that information should be coming to you via Datanet within the hour," Erik promised. "Let me know if there's anything else you need. Kartan out."

[ 10-15-2001 11:50 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Erik Kartan ]

--------------------

But to a Jedi, they were the ingredients necessary to build the weapon that was an important part of the Jedi identity.

As Cella soldered components together with a laser welder, she thought about this concept. Why, if the Jedi were guardians of peace, was a weapon like the lightsaber so vital? The answer was seemingly simple: because the Jedi were bound to protect the defenseless and shield the innocent. The lightsaber was for defense, never attack.

But where did defense become attack? Who drew that line and where was it? So many shades of gray, and only the conscience of a Jedi to stand between him and darkness. Sometimes the dark side was confusing. That's what made it so dangerous.

Just because the darkness was hard to define didn't make it okay to play around in it, Cella decided. It wasn't just a feeling of hers, but a directive from the guiding principle of the universe, the Force. The Force served life, indeed, was life itself.

But the Force had a dark side, that which destroyed and consumed life. And the dark side was no less a part of the Force than the light side. Without one, the other would not exist.

Cella, however, refused to think of the light side only in terms of the darkness and the gray spaces. She was Jedi, and she served the light not simply because it was "right"...but because it was the light. Because all life was originally joined with it and was naturally drawn to serve it.

Lost in thought, Cella adjusted the crystal in its setting. She served the light side because it was Life...and because she felt within her a love for and a kinship with all that was living. That love was so much larger than herself, far broader than her fellow Jedi. It was hard to explain if one hadn't felt it.

Finally, after hours of laborious work and many fine adjustments, Cella polished the hilt of her lightsaber to a high sheen. Impulsively, she stood up and turned off the cabin lights. Taking a deep breath, she activated the lightsaber.

A shimmering green light radiated from the blade and illuminated the entire cabin. Cella smiled, and something primal inside of her seemed to speak. Look, look at what I have made, all you who live! Look at me and my creation. Look at the spark that lives inside me from the time the universe was birthed! We all have it. I serve that fire, the Force. I serve and guard that fire.

Suddenly, the nerves along her spine tingled, and a vision floated across her eyes. A young woman, angry, so angry yet strangely resigned. Working at a lightsaber of her own, working out strange philosophies at the same time. Shayla? Cella shuddered without quite knowing why.

Then she realized that she and the young woman were mirror images. In another reality, another twist of fate...she and Shayla might have had their positions reversed.

He eyed his chrono. That had taken one minute. Still not fast enough, he decided, grimacing.

Wish I'd stayed in practice, he thought, closing down the blade and sitting on a nearby bench, wiping the sweat from his eyes with a towel that had been sitting there.

Why was he doing this anyway? He was almost positive he would have Shayla back, he'd felt good about it earlier...

But the visions he'd been having were still creeping him out.

Sighing, he leaned back onto the wall.

Truth was, he knew now that Shayla was not, in fact, on the brink of insanity. He knew her mind, and he knew her dedication to that which she believed. And whatever it was she believed now she was very certain of it, that was abundantly clear.

And when Shayla believed in something that strongly, Erik also knew she'd stand by it at any cost, no matter what risks she had to take.

That included lightsaber dueling.

Although Shayla didn't have a saber when she was taken from the Praxeum, she had the capabilities from past experience to make and wield one.

Somehow Erik knew she'd done just that.

Erik had his mind made up. He would hear Shayla out, and give her a chance to tell him what she had learned. He'd try his best to try to understand. He might not agree with her, but he was certain that Shayla's mind was in clear logic at the moment, and that what she had now taken as truth she had taken with much thought and examination.

That was just the way Shayla was, and it was the reason that Erik could still have faith in her even though he was uncertain of what she was doing.

But did the Jedi still have faith in Shayla Petrolu?

They must not give up, for if they did...

Erik frowned, the reality of this hitting him with the force of an SSD.

...if they did, the results would be far more devastating than even that of having a student turn to the Dark Side...

[ 10-13-2001 12:43 AM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Erik Kartan ]

--------------------

Still, not even Jedi Masters could do everything. Which brought him to another thought. If Shayla had been totally and completely brainwashed by this Dark One, what was there, really, that he and Cella could do? Wouldn't they just be better off leaving her to her own devices?

No, he decided, for the balance of Light and Dark could rest on one individual. And if that balance were tipped...

Jeroc hadn't known Shayla for long, but he remembered her as a savvy woman, given more to practicality than to mysticism. He also somehow sensed that she believed the Jedi had failed her somehow, forced her to deny her emotions.

Well. That was certainly not true, although that might have been a false impression she picked up along the way. Indeed, it was healthy and normal to feel righteous anger. What was wrong was to act out of that anger, instead of out of just intentions.

Jeroc couldn't deny he'd spent most of his life suppressing his feelings, but it wasn't part of the Jedi philosophy at large. It was a mistake HE'D made. Perhaps he hadn't done right by his students?

It was tough, but Jeroc knew to admit when he was wrong. It had never felt better than it did now, in light of his newly discovered love for Cella. He looked forward to telling Shayla about it, when they met again.

Oh, he'd denied that love for so long, and now, when he'd finally admitted it, it strengthened him instead of weakening him. Funny, wasn't it, how two Jedi together had the strength of more than two? Cella was a wellspring of understanding, his only joy in this grim situation, the only certain thing in an uncertain universe.

If Shayla could see the two of us, I do not think she would think the Jedi blind, weak, or emotionally crippled any longer. Jeroc couldn't help smiling to himself.

--------------------

But nothing was getting done. His mind was elsewhere.

Erik couldn't get past this gut feeling of his...that the Jedi had given up on Shayla, that they believed she had completely turned herself over to the Darkside...

Sithspit, he'd believed it himself for a time, when she seemed so angry. But that was just it...she wasn't angry anymore. She wasn't even resigned...

He couldn't explain it, couldn't put is finger on it...while he was worried with the blast of overwhelming anger that Shayla had exhibited even still, he somehow still believed that Shayla would never fully turn to the Darkside...

There must be something I just don't understand yet. And I have to give Shayla the benefit of a doubt.

Maybe he was blinded by his love for her. But Erik didn't care. He knew Shayla...they didn't.

The whole thing was really starting to bother him. Alot.

Hesitantly, Erik turned on his comm unit and dialed the number to the Pride of Yavin.

It was time he and the Jedi had a little chat.

Jeroc answered the call, and Erik went directly to what he had on his mind.

"Erik Kartan here. I have been thinking through alot of things, and I'm concerned that you have somehow lost faith in Shayla...and in her ability to think for herself and make justified decisions..."

Where had THAT come from? he wondered, pausing momentarily.

Then he continued on. "I just wanted to check with you. I wanted you to know that I'm almost positive Shayla is thinking clearly, but I must caution you that I feel she will be very turned off if we come in and try to nullify the things which she may now believe."

Sheesh, he thought, you sound kriffing preachy. But then, this WAS very important...

"I'm sorry if I'm overstepping my boundaries, but I needed to get this off my chest. Does any of this make sense?" Erik asked, finally quieting and waiting for a response on the other end of the comm frequency...

[ 10-13-2001 11:18 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Erik Kartan ]

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He paused for a long time, choosing his words carefully. "You are not overstepping your bounds at all. I know how much you love Shayla, and despite what you believe about me, I have never thought of you as anything less than an equal. I respect you and the path you have chosen in life, and rest assured that I think no less of you because you are not Jedi."

"Erik, I believe I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong. And I will tell you that I believed that Shayla had somehow lost the ability to think for herself...because she is being influenced by someone very, very powerful."

"But if you KNOW that her mind is still her own, I must, indeed, concede to you, as you know her best. That brings to mind another question. If Shayla is truly acting rationally and out of her own free will, why are my partner and I here? Originally, our goal was to save an unwilling captive, NOT to force a clearly thinking adept to bend to our will."

A wave of unexpected bitterness surged over Jeroc. "Coercion is not the Jedi way. If Cella and I were to bring her back to the Praxeum against her will, we would be as cruel as the One who stole her. My path is clouded, Erik. I know there's a reason we need to go to Shayla...I just don't see what it is."

"Whether or not you desire us to remain with you on this quest...you have only to say the word." Cella sat next to him now, and he could feel her presence, singing out in relief and agreement. "If we stay with you, we will do whatever in us lies to aid Shayla. Considering her mindset, that may not be much."

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"I want you on this mission with me. I am not a Jedi, and am not capable of dealing with a Sith on my own. I don't know how I'll respond to Shayla yet. I love her; I want her back...I might be more apt to give into her than you. But I do believe that she is thinking clearly. I don't understand what's going on, and I am worried that at times she seems very angry. That's not the way I was taught, and submersion in anger isn't something I believe is productive."

Biting his lower lip, Erik paused, trying to think of anything else he might need to say. He sighed a little, somewhat bothered that the Jedi seemed to think this was an issue of saving a captive, rather than trying to reach a friend.

"As for whether Shayla is a captive or a willing student, I don't think that it matters. If there is even the slightest hope of reaching Shayla, we must act. We have to show her we still care," he explained, choking down a lump in his throat. "Taking her by coersion isn't the issue. It's beyond that. We are saving a friend, someone whom I know is a very good person and have faith in even still...someone I love. If you want a reason for why we are doing this, that's it."

He was struggling with tears now, worried that the Jedi were going to back out...that they felt the situation with Shayla was beyond hope and a useless cause.

But it wasn't! Erik loved her, and he'd be damned before he let her go. He closed his eyes, trying to dissolve the tears in his eyes.

"What you can do for Shayla...is have faith in her. Remember her as she is, and know that no matter what she believes now that her core values will not be shaken...

Save her...because she is a friend..."

[ 10-15-2001 12:09 AM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Erik Kartan ]

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