Once again I found myself drifting slowly upward from some abyssal depth, my inner lids lightening more and more as though I were actually floating toward the surface of a dark and noisome sea. In bits and pieces I found myself becoming more and more aware of the simple things: There. What was that thing? Oh yes, that strange lump of dough my hand is rubbing against is my leg. And that soft whisper? The ventilation system, doing it's part to keep us all alive. Ane yet that bubbling noise...

...sounds like a Bacta tank.

At that my eyelids opened, and memory descended on me in a rush. I immediately wrapped my arms about myself, shivering with the ghostly repetition of that-- that thing's uncaring rape upon my body as it's claws and razored tail had probed and thrust and searched every orifice I possessed... and in more than one instance creating a couple of their own in which to search more deeply. I shuddered as that revolting recollection played itself over again, not merely in my mind's eye but seemingly in the very strands of my muscles and integuements. I shuddered again, gripping myself with the fervor of desperation, willing the ghastly feeling to just... go away.

Immediately on the heels of these horrible sensations came the image of my love, mutilated so much more terribly, and for an action he had undertaken for me. My nails sunk into the flesh of my arms at the very thought.

If it weren't for me, and my damned sister, this wouldn't have happened to him, I thought blackly, fighting tears once again. It's all my fault that happened to him, that this is happening to us.

Maybe I just ought to give myself up to these demons, to prevent anyone else from getting hurt.

Then I shook my head at myself. No. That's what I did with Sorben; I cut and ran, presumably to keep him from harm, and what happened? I have brought harm to others instead. The only solution is to remain solitary my entire life, constantly on the alert, like a frightened ikopi aware of the predator who stalks it from forest acre to forest acre....

...or not give in to the despair these creatures are striving to place in me, and in us. To remain steadfast to the original plan, and somehow rid the Galaxy of the foul blight which those hideous beings truly are.

My eyes widened as an unconscious question suddenly made itself known. Why hadn't I been able to fight against that damnable demon? Why hadn't the magnificent power once again arisen to thwart their attack on us? Why had we fallen before the onslaught like dried leaves being blown about by the wind?

Why hadn't I been able to knock the devils end-over-nasties, as I had back on Khar Delba?

I laid my hand on my belly, the answer coming to me in a flash of certainty.

It hadn't been me. It was the Child, the little...girl?!?... that I yet carried, the incredible little being which every passing day brought closer and closer to birth. Even now I could feel her moving inside me; all of a sudden, a great blanket of warmth and assurance and consolation and loving protection descended over me. I knew it was from her, that somehow she was reaching out in an almost mystical manner to calm the growing trepidation of her mother.

She is the One to end this, I knew deep in my gut. She is the One they are after, too. All I need to do is keep her safe until she is born, and grown... just a few years; Khaandon help us all, but it's going to be rough....

But She is the One who will finally rid us of Graysith and her hell-spawned little band.

Smiling now, the sacrifice of my beloved's arm and my own hideous and far more personal violation suddenly a speck in the bucket compared to this unborn child's worth, I drew in a deep breath. Nodding to myself, I then let my consciousness flee me, and it escaped back into the cradling security of natural sleep.

[ 05-09-2006 12:01 AM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Graysith ]

--------------------

And they didn't have anywhere to go from here anyway.

When he woke up seemingly ages later, though it had only in reality been about eight hours, he found himself sitting in a chair in the Sick bay, his head rested against his hand and elbow placed on a med bed. Glancing around a bit, two things became obvious. Jasyn had moved from where had been sitting the night before, and Terrin was out of the tank.

Stretching, he looked one bed over to find Galen resting comfortably, a blanket wrapped around her. As he became more aware, he could hear movements of Captain Joao's MD-15, preparing something. He glanced over another bed. There Terrin laid, his hair still wet from bacta and still looking pale.

Sithspawn, but he'd lost A LOT of blood.

The med droid had taken care to wrap Terrin's wound nicely, leaving him to rest comfortably. He's going to be out a while, Matt thought. Finally getting up, he wandered over to the med droid, finding Jasyn sitting on the bed next to Terrin's, looking half asleep but still managing to present an aura of unwavering disgust and loyalty.

He wasn't going to budge.

"Jasyn, I'm gonna go talk to Captain Joao. I'll be back, ok?"

Jasyn nodded. "You know I'm not moving," he muttered, eyes closed. "I'll let you know if Galen wakes up."

"Thanks. I think it's about time we explained everything."

Eyes still closed, he replied, "Yeah, we better."

With that, Matt turned on his heels and headed off to find the Captain.

[ 12-30-2001 02:01 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Terrin's Crew ]

--------------------

I frowned, tilting my head a bit to consider my artistry. Then with a vicious slash of one hand, I wiped it from existence.

What in the name of all the Fates was going on here?! I scowled blackly, now shifting to a more comfortable position. I placed my elbow on the arm of my chair, and leaned my head into it. Who were these... these, whatever-they-were that hounded us, that came out of nowhere and attacked with such unfeeling ferocity? How in the name of Hell had they managed to find us in hyperspace?

Yaoksi ol boy, you sure seemed to have bitten off a plug a wee bit bigger than you normally like to chew on....

My blackening thoughts were interrupted as I heard the approach of soft and measured footsteps. They were not heralded by the whoosh of an automatic door opening; due to Silent Running, power to that luxury had been cut off and the doors were frozen half-open.

I sniffed, expecting Nassy. She sure has made herself scarce lately, the thought buzzed through my mind. But then, can you really blame her? I mean, it's one thing to vow and swear alliegance to whatever we are gonna be heading for, and quite another to actually experience a tragic blow from the enemy. I wouldn't be surprised if she was coming to tell me she wants off-ship....

"You don't have to say it, Nass," I began, turning in my seat. Then I froze, a touch embarrassed. There behind me was Captain Danner's crewman, what was his name? Matt... yeah, Matt Stanza, I think.

The little problem of his moniker faded into insignificance before the look in his eye, and the entire aspect of his demeanor. Suddenly I knew he wasn't here to parlay lightly. The time indeed had come to play the hand Fate had dealt to them, and to me, and join those cards once again in the shuffling of unity.

Which involved complete and utter trust and candor with each other.

I worked my jaw a bit, then pinned his eyes with mine. "You want to tell me exactly what's going on here?" I began slowly. Then I built up momentum, and like an old Imperial Star Destroyer steamed ahead full.

"What happened to us back there? How did Danner lose his arm? What happened to that lil gal with you, and why the hell is she so important? How can anything happen to us in hyperdrive...

"...and why the Hell did that gal shoot a perfectly good TIE-fighter off into a star?!?"

With that I lapsed into silence, waiting to hear Matt's response.

--------------------

Then, leaning forward, his green eyes radiating intensity, he contiued. "Terrin met Galen a while ago when he was working for an Imperial Moff. That Moff had been involved in an assassination attempt on Admiral Palleon, which was befuddled by the aforementioned Shayla Stargazer. Because Shayla was tipped off about the whole assassination attempt due to Terrin's involvement, the Moff held him accountable, and sent him out to find her.

"In the meantime, Shayla, who had once been a Jedi trainee, returned to the Praxeum to finish her training. Not long after she arrived there she was stolen from the Praxeum by a Sith. Terrin found out about this, and was in the process of running after Shayla when he met Galen, who helped him pilot his ship off an Imperial-held world. By the time the two of them returned to us, Terrin had changed his tune. They decided to try to find Ms. Stargazer and save her from the Sith, which consequently is the ex-sister of Galen's, changed by some sort of incident some time before.

"We decided the best way to save Shayla was to find a device called the Nar Khelba, which could, if attached to a lightsaber, destroy the soul. We all went to Khar Delba, a world which houses a Sith Temple, to retrieve it. Only later did we discover Shayla was no longer a captive but a willing Adept of this Graysith, at which point we decided to continue after the weapon for matters of justice due to Galen's father's untimely death at her sister's hand. To make a long story short, Terrin and Galen actually succeeded in finding the weapon, but Terrin had to cut the finger off this Graysith, whom I'm told was knocked senseless by some sort of Force-blast or something created by Galen and her child.

"But we actually got away with it, for a while. Ever since we've been hiding the Nar Khelba, hoping to use it against Graysith. But the Sith, as Terrin suspected, didn't forget. Although I was out like the rest of you, I'm guessing that the Sith were here, looking for the Nar Khelba, and that Terrin's punishment for taking the finger of Graysith was the loss of his arm. As for your fighter--my apologies, I'm again guessing--but I think Galen just made it the vehicle to rid us of the Nar Khelba eternally."

Matt paused for a moment, scrutinizing the Captain's fairly unreadable look. "Galen is important because the child she carries is just as strong, if not stronger than Graysith. I don't know all the details, but Terrin told me that Graysith was once also pregnant, and lost her child in some sort of confrontation between her and Galen. Therefore, she wants Galen's child...and her life."

[ 12-30-2001 02:35 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Terrin's Crew ]

--------------------

It was only with the greatest and most concentrated of efforts that I prevented any sort of look or other more subtle body language from betraying my first and altogether quite instinctive reaction to Matt's little soliloquy. The only allowance I gave my rapidly upwelling emotions was a slight tightening of the fist against which my head was leaning.

Holy shizzoly, time to exit stage left....

Then I sniffed, and brought myself back under grips.

OK, so that is the way things are. Chances are that if you dumped this particular cargo and ran, these Sith would probably still be after you, just because you had been associated with them, however briefly. Better to remain in alliance with these guys; there's strength in numbers.

Not to mention the little fact of this unborn baby... yeesh. I winced a bit, suddenly uncomfortable with the wealth of Force-weirdness that had so unexpectedly come crashing down into my little world as of late. First a brief introduction via one Cella Poliani... then more than sufficient and far too personal revelation of exactly who and what we were facing.

Again not to mention this Admiral fellow... wonder where he fits into the Grand Scheme of things?

I shook my head to rid myself of inner distractions. For a moment I merely sat there, staring at Matt, who was obviously waiting for me to say something Captain-ish. I opened my mouth, even as I wondered exactly what was going to come out of it...

...when I was struck by the obvious. The baby. The Kid. This was going to go far, far beyond your normal little life's paradigms, Yaoksi ol boy, and you know it. And you now have a chance to be carried off far beyond yourself, and your self-imposed limitations. This is "save-the-Galaxy" kinda stuff, straight out of the days of Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader and Yoda and your favorite merch runner...

...and you have the opportunity to be a part of it all. But do you want to? And more importantly, do you have the strength to do so? Indeed this entailed being involved for the long haul, and beyond.

Without really realizing it, I was nodding my head. "Yeah, yeah," I found myself murmuring, albeit whether to Matt or in response to my own concerns I really didn't know.

Or did I?

Now I straightened, pinning Matt's gaze with a firm look. I pursed my lips briefly, then exhaled loudly.

"Ok then, thank you for your candor," I said quietly. Then I stood, and offerred a hand to the stocky man. "While I'm still going to let my crew come to their own decisions..." I trailed off suddenly, quieting.

NO. You're the Captain. Act the part, buddy.

"Ahhh... no," I contradicted myself, my lip quirking in response to the gleam of humor I thought I saw deep in the depths of Matt's eyes. I continued, "You can count on us, and the Devil-May-Care. She's a good ship, modified, and very fast. She'll beat the old Falcon's Kessel run by a full parsec and a half, in fact."

Now I was grinning, albeit it a touch darkly. "You let your Captain know that whatever he needs, he's got. And that once we get to Sullust, no matter what happens or how long we have to stay, or where we have to go from there, we're with ya. Like my gunner said earlier, we're in for the long haul, baby."

Now exposing my teeth in a full smile, I clambered to my feet and clapped my hand on Matt's shoulder. "The ship's okay for now, if a touch cool," I explained lightly, turning him towards the half-opened door as I spoke. "Why don't we head on aft and see how your Captain and his lil gal are progressing?"

[ 12-30-2001 03:15 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Yaoksi Joao ]

--------------------

Leading the way back, Matt's thoughts turned inward to the role he'd have to play while Terrin was recovering. Although he was perfectly ready to fullfill the duties of his Captain, he'd never before had to actually do so. Then again, they'd never managed to get themselves this shoulder-deep in muck, even with the whole Moff ordeal.

But Matt knew the part. And he was far more than just capable of playing it.

Entering the sick bay, he found two parties resting, and Jasyn cracking one eye half-open to observe this new disturbance.

Thank goodness he didn't up and blast you and Yaoksi both, as tightly as he's wound about now.

In the back of the sick bay, the med droid was working busily.

"The droid is working on the prosthetic," Jasyn explained, his head lolling to the side a bit. "Nothing much else from that. Galen might be coming around shortly; the med droid checked her vitals, she's just sleeping comfortably. Terrin," he added, opening his eyes momentarily to glance at his Captain, "he's still out cold. So we just wait..."

[ 12-30-2001 03:39 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Terrin's Crew ]

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Captain Danner....

I winced a bit as I glanced over to where he lay, his face only a couple shades pinker than the pillow beneath his head. With a gulp I forced myself to take in the unnatural outline of his right side.

It's a good thing I took that MD-15 in lieu of that one run's payment, I thought to myself with some relief. That was the very latest in med-droids; my older MD-08 wouldn't have had the capabilities to create a prosthesis, although it might have been able to attach one.

Now I pushed myself off of the bulkhead and strode over to where Danner lay. Uncaring to what the others might be thinking, I reached out a hand and laid it gently on his good arm.

We'll get you fixed up good as new, buddy, I vowed silently. Then you and I are gonna get to really know each other...

...and preferably over some Alderaanian ale in one of Sullust's wonderful cantinas.

Then glancing about myself in a motion just shy of slight embarrassment, I left the sick man's side and resumed my position holding up the bulkhead. Meanwhile, my MD-15 rushed over to where I had been seconds earlier, scolding me as it brought every device it possessed to bear on the unconscious man. Finally assuring itself that no harm had befallen its patient, it stalked back to the aft of the med-bay, and continued working on Terrin's new arm.

I couldn't resist one final rejoinder. "Make it a special one, pal," I called out. Then I quieted and with the others, gave myself in to simply waiting to see who would wake up first.

--------------------

...Horrible...???

Now what was wrong here? Hadn't they been sitting enjoying some dinner and some wine when...

...when what...?

Coming another click closer to wakefulness, he smacked his lips a bit, a strange taste filling his mouth...

...BACTA...?!

Then slowly and horribly, memory began to reveal itself, in horrifying detail.

That...

...that blast...

...that thing, sitting upon his chest, searching, seeking...

...then...

...

Oh, HORROR, HORROR, HORROR...! IT CAN'T BE TRUE IT MUSN'T...!

Quite suddenly, he did not want to open his eyes...

Where...where was Galen...where was she...? Had it taken her...AGAIN? Oh gods, but please no...

What of that sound of crunching bones...?

Whose bones...?

Of the searing, awful pain of tearing flesh and ligaments...

...HIS BONES...?!

His breath caught in his throat, as his previous denial was brought horribly back to the surface, reality slamming into him.

...It had taken...

...taken...

Before he knew what he was doing, scarcely aware of those around him, his eyes flew open, and he let out a blood-curdling scream.
"Galen!" he cried, making a pitiful attempt to hoist himself up level, wanting more than anything to deny the fact that he was short an arm to complete the task.

Then, giving in, he returned to dead still, his blue eyes looking stormy, his breath coming quick from the exertion.

"Galen..."

[ 12-31-2001 12:01 AM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Terrin Danner ]

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"TERRIN!!"

I bolted upright in my bed, the blanket someone had wrapped around me flying off as in one fantastic move I was up and on my feet, my eyes flying from the form of one man after another who crowded the medical bay of this ship, then going to the bacta tank off to one side of the facility...

The empty bacta tank?!?

...and finally coming to rest on the ivory-skinned visage of my love. He lay in his own sickbed, halfway supported by his one arm...

Oh dear Khaandon, his ONE arm...!

...his eyes wild and almost unseeing for the terror which flooded them. Terror not in regard to himself, I realized with a blasting jolt as I scrambled to his side, pushing through the crewmen who were now converging upon him, heedless of the scolding squawks of the MD-15 who came clanking and clattering from the back of the bay.

That terror was for me.

Sobbing now, I flung myself on the bed beside him, wrapping my arms around him, carefully avoiding the bandaged stump of his arm as I hugged him with all the strength in my possession, kissing his eyes, his lips, his cheek, over and over and all the while murmuring through my sobs and caresses,

"I'm here, Terrin, I'm here. Nothing is going to take me away, or you from me. I'm here, and I'm staying with you forever. I love you, and nothing is going to change that. Nothing!"

Then I felt harsh metallic fingers clamp onto my shoulders, drawing me away, as the MD-15 continued to scold in my ear and the other members of our newly expanded crew all rushed up to welcome my love back into the world of the living.

[ 12-30-2001 04:39 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Galen ]

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...he couldn't.

In the background Matt had pulled Jasyn away, hoping to keep him from clobbering the MD-15 who was trying to pull Galen away.

Pull her away?!

Leaning into her just a bit, he managed to pull himself to a sitting position, drawing more squawks from the MD as his view of the room began to spin. Closing his eyes he drowned it all out, unaware that Matt had somehow managed to pull Jasyn from the room for the moment, but clearly aware that someone had gotten MD to back off. With a mechanical sigh, the droid returned to his work.

Shaking, Terrin took his one arm and wrapped it behind her head, pulling her close to him, basking in the warmth the motion brought. "They...they didn't take you...you...you stayed..." he muttered, falling short of words as he became more than aware that tears were falling not only from her eyes, but from his. "I love you," he whispered. "I thought I'd lost you..."

[ 12-30-2001 05:08 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Terrin Danner ]

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And yet it was quickly becoming obvious that there was more, much more, going on here than one Twi'lek female, however cunning, could handle or even fully comprehend.

As Terrin Danner (so terribly ravaged...never in my born days have I seen such a thing, such a nightmare!) embraced his beloved, an odd warmth stole through my veins. These aren't just nameless spacefarers with a knack for trouble. These are people, Naisra'len, and a child. A child. I groaned inwardly. Are we really up to this?

A cold smile curved my lips as a sudden thought came to me. Well, perhaps we're just spacebums, but spacebums have been known to do great things. And if we aren't Jedi, we can move around the galaxy a lot quicker and a lot quieter. Nobody will be looking for a baby amongst a pack of smugglers.

Strange how... how... real she looks all of a sudden, I mused to myself in something akin to wonder. Then I realized what had brought on that odd thought, and before I knew what I was doing I reached out and enfolded her in my own arms, hugging her tightly. For a moment she stiffened, all lean muscle and sinew poised for action; then she softened, yielding. Her lekku snaked around to tickle the back of my neck briefly.

That soft touch snapped the moment for me. Reddening at the impusive act, I pushed her out to arm's length, my hands yet maintaining their hold on her arms.

"I, uh... well, that is to say, I ummm..." I garbled, my face becoming redder and redder as I tried to explain the inexplicable action. I yammered to a shaky stop, and once more looked into her eyes.

Bless her sinuous lekku, she understands... er, at least I THINK she does.

"Ahh-- thank you for staying with us, Nass. I do believe things are gonna be rough, and I appreciate your hanging in there. Not to mention the input; that's a good idea. In fact, it's a great idea."

I paused a moment, then hurried on, letting my words carry us farther and farther from that impulsive--yet strangely so appropriate hug I had given her, letting my arms now drop to my sides as I took a step backward. I flashed her my biggest, lady-killer smile.

"Why don't I just leave all the er, ident-muddling up to you. I agree 200 percent that it's probably going to be needed; you sound like this is something that, er... you're ahhh... accustomed to doing, heh."

Sheesh Yaoksi, why don't you open your mouth a little wider? I don't believe you've quite gotten your foot all the way into it....

"That is, ahh... I've never done that, er I mean to say I've never had to..."

Once again I stuttered to a stop, my face now flaming. Ridiculous, in the face of such tragedy, followed by such overwhelming love!

I cleared my throat, yanking on my vest to straighten an invisible wrinkle I had spotted upon it.

"I'll just leave you in charge of this masquerade, and I want to let you know that I'm open to any suggestions as to where we can go when we leave Sullust.

"And as for me..." Now I drew myself upright, struggling yet to bring myself back under some semblance of control. "I'm really looking forward to some ale and discussion with Captain Danner, when he's fully up to it, you understand...

"...not to mention those hot springs."

Oh... HELL. You had to say it, didn't you?!?

Flashing her another shaky smile, I flicked my eyes back to the medbay. Thank the gods no one had noticed the smaller melodrama unfolding just outside its door; all attention was yet focused on Terrin and Galen. The pair were still holding on to each other as though their lives depended upon it...

...which, as a matter of fact, I had a suddenly sneaky suspicion they truly did.

Giving my vest another yank, I dipped my head to the peeps who didn't even turn to acknowledge the act, nodded in as stately a manner as I could to my gunner, and fled the medbay altogether.

[ 12-30-2001 08:26 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Yaoksi Joao ]

--------------------

Of course, Jasyn didn't walk away without threatening to shut the med droid down if he laid another finger on the pair now embracing each other...

...that is, as best as Terrin could do minus an arm.

Matt shuddered a bit at the thought, even now unwilling to break into their time together.

"He's going to wear himself out," Jasyn muttered worriedly.

Matt shrugged. "I think they need each other at the moment." Then, turning his eyes from the scene to Jasyn, who probably hadn't slept a wink since this whole horrid thing began, "Go get some sleep."

"But..." Jasyn started.

Matt shot a piercing green-eyed look up at him. "Now."

Jasyn frowned. "Oh, allright, fine. But you let me know if something happens." With that, he skulked away.

Matt knew not to take Jasyn's reaction personally. Not only was the guy tired, he was also reacting in his typically loyal fashion, clearly furious at the deeds that had so recently and vividly been done. Stepping the rest of the way into the sickbay, Matt crossed over to consult with MD. Then, cautiously approaching Terrin and Galen, who had still yet to let go of one another, he gently laid a hand on Terrin's back.

Terrin jumped just a bit, turning a pair of tired eyes to Matt. "Hey," he managed.

Matt smiled just a touch at him and Galen. "Prosthetic should be done by the morning," he said. Terrin frowned a bit at this, but nodded. "Get some rest, okay?"

Another nod.

"I'll be right on the other side of the room if you need me, catching some winks." With that he headed over to the other side of the sickbay, where he sat in a chair and leaned back against the bulkhead. There he closed his eyes and slowly drifted into sleep, unaware that as he left Terrin had turned his head slightly to the right to stare blankly at the bandaged stump that was once part of his right arm.

[ 12-30-2001 10:14 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Terrin's Crew ]

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Before he even was aware of what he was doing, he attempted to reach out his right hand--his dominant hand--to run fingers through her hair. Suddenly shuddering at the sensation, he drew back, flinching at the sickening feeling. His blue eyes grew a shade darker.

How...how could he feel an arm that wasn't there?! This had to be some sort of sick nightmare...it had to be...

...how could she stand to look at him, torn as he was...?

Hold the ship, Danner. She already said this doesn't change anything. And you know it would be the same if it were her and not you...

...Thank the Maker it hadn't been her...

...still, this just had to be a dream...

The more wakefulness descended upon him, the more he wanted to shut everything out.

This just had to be...HAD TO BE a horrible dream. He would wake up, and she would be with him, and everything would be fine...

...just fine...

...But it is the truth, ISN'T IT? That thing...that thing with the spiked tail and razor sharp teeth...tore and ripped YOUR flesh and bones, took YOUR arm.

He didn't realize as the thoughts began to slam into him once again in vivid reality that he'd begun to shake his head from side to side, oblivious to the worried look Galen was giving him.

No...no...no...it just musn't be true...

His eyes growing yet another shade deeper, he whispered, panick threatening to overtake him, "Please...tell me this is just a bad dream..."

[ 12-31-2001 10:52 AM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Terrin Danner ]

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Oh gods, Terrin....

Not bothering to blink them away, I reached out a hand and laid it alongside his cheek, forcing him to look me straight in the eye again. He did; something deep inside me winced and yowled to see the tearing pain in that look. I shook my head, unable to actually state the words that would confirm the worst, going instead to the real issue that was bothering him.

Personal pain and the indignity carried out upon his body comprised the lesser issue, no matter what he was saying. Somehow I knew that on some deep level, he knew this. But the other, that was what fueled the desperation I saw lurking deep in the smoky depths of his eyes, heard as the underlying current to his words.

Still pinning his eyes with mine, I spoke up softly at last. "Oh Khaandon, Terrin... what can I say to relieve your pain? I owe you so much; such a sacrifice you have made for me."

Tears now overflowing from my eyes to trickle down my face, I leaned carefully down and, keenly aware of the presence of raw and ravaged nerve endings exposed in the remnants of his arm, I lightly kissed the bandaged stump. Then I drew back, trembling with the importance of what I was trying to get across to him, hoping I wasn't botching it altogether. This was a vulnerable time for my love....

"This matters not, Terrin, not one bit. For even now I see lying before me more of a man than the one I first fell in love with."

Somehow realizing words would no longer accurately convey my feelings, I could say no more. I moved my hand to brush damp tendrils of hair from his face, then snuggled down into the protective warmth of hs side.

[ 12-31-2001 11:22 AM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Galen ]

--------------------

So it was true. The horrible, terrible thing had actually happened.

But your arm isn't the only thing that demon almost took, is it?

That she could look upon him and so openly profess her undying love...undying love!...spoke volumes though she obviously didn't have all the words to express what her actions proved even more accurately.

As she brushed the hair from his face and snuggled close to him--oh how he NEEDED her touch--he considered her words.

What more did she see in him in the light of this horrible disaster? How was it that he was able to face this at all without withdrawing in upon himself?

Then the answer presented itself in blinding radiance, a small but significant victory in the storm. You have yet come lightyears from that which you were before. You NEED her, you honestly NEED her, and you're finding yourself completely unable to deny it...

...something that, if the old Terrin Danner had anything to do with it, you most certainly would be doing about now. HE wouldn't have been able to face this. HE would have just shoved everyone away.

And he's in you even now, trying to get you to do just that, ISN'T HE?

In the quiet of the room, Terrin leaned back, all the while taking comfort in her presence near him. He spoke the words to drive that damnable demon of his old self completely away from him. "I'd give my life for you," he replied quietly. "I know that...that you'll stay with me..."

The words trailed off, as once again he found tears welling in the depths of his blue eyes, striving to give voice to the despair which her words and her touch had so solidly driven away.

[ 12-31-2001 06:27 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Terrin Danner ]

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He knows... he REALLY knows! I exulted to myself, snuggling closer to my love as though to somehow burrow completely into him and physically join with him, heart and soul. Reaching around with my one arm, I lightly laid my hand on his bandages, let it remain there, a soft yet solid assurance of my undying love, that what I did love wasn't this physical shell, but rather that which I sensed shining within it.

Somehow I knew greater epiphanies were occurring within him even as my touch sought to reassure. Smiling into his neck, I whispered the thought.

"Maybe it's- it's somehow GOOD that this happened, love."

For a moment I paused, tensing a little in spite of myself, wondering if I had overstepped a secretive and inner line by that seemingly incongruous and actually somewhat horrible statement.

Then I relaxed, pressing myself yet closer to him.

He knows... Khaandon, but I KNOW it.

He knows.

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Perhaps indeed in this tragic event you have yet learned something you would not have otherwise. After all, you've known from the time she spoke the words the first time that she truly loved you...

...but you've been so acclamated to being able to shove those nearest away. What you needed was a good dose of someone who wouldn't DARE leave you, regardless of your initial response, to break yourself out of that wretched pattern.

Something which she has so squarely done for you that there's not any possible way you can deny it.

Suddenly feeling tired, he closed his eyes, his one good arm wrapped tightly about her, all the while ignoring MD-15's renewed protests.

Chances were the droid couldn't come between them if it tried.

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"What do you want now?" I growled, cutting my eyes to the side to see the tips of metallic fingers in my direct line of vision, fingers which had found a new home on my shoulder.

At least the blasted machine didn't try to yank on me like it did earlier!

A somewhat reedy electronic voice marred the silence. "This Sir needs his rest, Madam," he whined annoyingly. Those fingers tightened a fraction upon me.

I sighed, ignoring the med-droid's obvious demand altogether, and merely snuggled closer to Terrin's side. "Ok then," I growled, closing my eyes. "We'll go to sleep now, if you'll leave us alone."

For a moment there was nothing but silence, and the soft sussurations and whirrs and clicks of a fully operational sickbay. Then a metallic sigh followed my own.

"Oh very well, Madam. If you insist...."

"Damn Skippy," I muttered, beginning to let myself drift, scarcely feeling the light blanket the MD-15 now tucked in a most motherly fashion about Terrin and me. Soon we were both lost to slumber.

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Oh well. He'll get over it.

Standing up to stretch more and walk around a bit, Matt gave the pair a final glance. He grinned. Snug as two bugs in a rug. And if he didn't know any better, he would swear that was almost a bit of a smile on Terrin's face.

Heck maybe it was. There was no doubt what Terrin had found with Galen was the real thing. If only they could all be that lucky.

Wanting to walk around just a little bit, Matt wandered just outside of the sickbay, almost tripping right over the form of a sleeping Jasyn sitting with his head atop his knees. Matt nudged him with a booted foot.

"Hey!" Jasyn blurted.

Matt put a finger to his lips, then pointed to the sickbay.

"Oh, sorry," the other whispered.

"What are you doing out here anyway?"

Jasyn shrugged. "I just didn't want to be far, just in case...something else happened."

Matt frowned. "You know there's nothing you or anyone else could have done."

"I know, I know. But at least staying on guard allows me to feel as though I am trying to do something useful. Other than sitting and waiting for Captain Joao and his Twi'lek to take care of matters for us to arrive on Sullust safely, there's really nothing else."

Matt nodded thoughtfully. "I was thinking of pulling some strings to get Captain Joao a new TIE fighter, but other than that, yeah, I agree that there's nothing else we can do but wait for Terrin to recover, which will take a while yet. But I think we can rest assured that he's being taken care of at the moment."

"Oh?" Jasyn asked quirking a brow. "You mean that med-device happy MD-15 or Galen?"

Matt couldn't help but grin a bit at the question. "You figure it out. Now, go to your quarters and get some sleep. I'm gonna take a walk around myself."

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However, my new "crew" and I could draw a little...unwanted attention. I needed to take care of that until I could get some proper forged ID's for everyone. I rummaged through my makeup bag. I had a nice assortment of face paint and various dyes for a girl that had left Dalius City in an awful hurry. I wondered if I could persuade Matt and Jasyn to go as brothers--the blue face paint would probably solve that problem. Galen I could disguise as a fellow gunner without a hitch--I could paint a tattoo just fine.

Yaoksi and I could be ourselves, more or less, as we weren't the ones on the lam here. I was more worried about the Eagle Enterprises crew--and the attention that a one-armed man would attract. Terrin was a special challenge. I hummed and hawed and finally decided to let him and Yaoksi cook something up.

Yaoksi...my whole body still tingled warmly from his impulsive embrace in the sickbay. I grinned to myself. No secret that he was attracted to me, or that I was attracted to him. But when he found out what I was really like, would the attraction still hold?

I couldn't stand it any longer. "Hey buddy, why don't you let a droid clean up that mess?" I offered with another gulp. "It's, ahh- it's what they do," I finished somewhat insipidly, not quite knowing how to put into words the emotions which the sight of that hideous pool brought rushing forward.

A man and his crew had placed themselves into my safekeeping, and what happens as soon as they're aboard? Some...THING knocks us out and rips off his arm, bringing him close to death. Fat lot of good you were to him back there, Yaoksi ol pirate...

...and now your spanking new engineer is sopping up the remains for you.

K'kihl didn't even pause in his cleaning. "In touching death, embraces life, one does," he asserted with a short nod of his head. My lips quirked slightly at that, and I found myself nodding along with him.

"Yeah buddy," I murmured, my thoughts now fleeing from those concerning my own inadequacies, running almost as though seeking solace to the image of Nassy's eyes so close to my own, and the softness of her in my arms....

Someone ought to imprint that statement in the stars, and emblazon it across the heavens for the whole Universe to read. Then maybe peeps would start thinking of the really important things in life, and quit worrying about the little conundrums that come along to befuddle everyone's pathway through it.

I hoisted myself away from the bulkhead. "You've got a point there, ol Cricket," I agreed once again, nodding for emphasis. "Life's really too short to squander over the insignificant little incidents. One ought to live it to the fullest, and take what one can out of it, and put what one can into it, and as fully as one can in both cases."

That comment brought the scrubbing to a halt, and a pair of shining faceted eyes were raised in my direction. "Thinking you are of this gunner lady, this am I thinking," K'kihl observed wisely. He clattered his mandibles and tilted his head. "Needing you I, protection from Twi'lek, perhaps no longer I am thinking as well."

He turned back to scrubbing, and thus did not see the flush of red which began to creep up my neck. It grew deeper with his final offerring: "Unaware was I, that a poet for Bossman did I have."

I've been here and there in the Galaxy, and have seen and done plenty, but that was all I could take. Trying my best to keep scowling, I shook my finger at him. "You- you just... you..." I stammered, not quite knowing what to say to that. "I'll send in a cleaning droid to help ya, buddy," I finished, then turned and fled his chitinous presence.

I barely got out of the Mess Hall and hustled around the corner into a cross-corridor, when who did I practically run smack-dab into but my lady gunner. The red flush, momentarily subsiding as I hurried, slammed back full bore as we stopped mere paces from each other, our eyes meeting.

Yaoksi, you just met her! an annoying voice managed to whine in my ear before I slapped that particular conundrum away. I made a move to go closer, then stopped, my face flaming even more, and simply stood there willing something witty to come to my lips....

[ 01-02-2002 12:09 AM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Yaoksi Joao ]

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"I, uh, had some pretty good ideas for disguises...getting onplanet shouldn't be a problem...a friend on the Sullustan Port Authority owes me some favors." Why was I getting closer to him? Dammit, he seemed to be drawing me to him as inorexably as a star drew a planet...

...or a ship about to crash.

I feebly attempted to keep the businesslike conversation going. "Good thing I've made a few connections on Sullust," I murmured, drawing yet closer to Yaoksi and slipping an arm around him. I was drowning in his eyes. What was wrong with a little innocent philandering?

Oh, throw it all to Hell...

A strange sense of deja vu crashed down on me as quite suddenly I found my new gunner, so recently in my thoughts, now practically in my arms in almost instant replay.

In case I let something pass by me the first time....

Without thinking I found my arms going around her once more, felt the softness of her against me; her perfume heady in my nostrils, the warmth of her overpowering, feeling once more the twin jolts of her hands behind me, her lekku snaking sinuously up alongside my face, my own arms now vibrating slightly with the trembling that began coursing through her. I gazed down into her lidded eyes, took in the sheer vulnerability of her, whether intended or not, looked at the utter willingness with which she tilted back her own head, her lips warm and full and inviting.

I felt my own eyes beginning to drop, felt my own head beginning to tilt down toward hers...

...felt my hands, contrary beasts that they were, for some completely unfathomable reason now slowly but smoothly release their grip upon her waist, to come round behind me and grasp each one of her small hands. Bringing them around in front of me, I raised them up to my face, raising my lids as well to stare into the still closed pair in front of me.

Lids so temptingly wanting to be kissed....

Instead I found myself bringing her hands together, to my lips, and planting a small and chaste kiss upon them.

Her dark eyes flew open at that. I opened my mouth to explain, but quite suddenly knew that there weren't adequate words, at least not at the moment, to take away the mingled attraction and hurt and embarrassment I saw swimming in their depths.

I did the only thing I could. Still holding her hands, I now reached out and planted another kiss on her forehead. Then I drew back slowly, still refusing to take my eyes from hers.

My mouth worked a few moments before words finally slid shakily from my lips. "Thank you, Naisra'len," I said, for once not stumbling across the unfamiliar syllables of her name.

Then giving her a smile, I let her hands drop, took a step away, turned, and proceeded on to my quarters, silently berating myself every step of the way.

[ 01-03-2002 08:07 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Yaoksi Joao ]

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...arms wrapped tightly around the person you love...?

Terrin withheld a groan as he realized this was probably yet another one of those phantom arm sensations. He also hesitated to open his eyes. Though the feeling of having an arm that wasn’t there wrapped about someone was a bit creepy, it still felt good and convincingly real. Opening his eyes to evaluate the true situation would only confirm his mind was playing tricks on him and would probably push him back into depression.

Besides, feeling her there in his embrace was still comforting whether the sensation was real or not. Might as well enjoy the feeling while it lasts, since it comes and goes.

So that’s precisely what he did. Terrin must have laid there half-awake yet feigning sleep for a good fifteen standard minutes, waiting for the sensation to evaporate into nothingness. But it didn’t.

Maybe the fact that he was giving into the feeling was providing the fuel to keep it going? He sighed lightly. Time to face reality, Danner, whether you want to or not.

As he cracked one eye open, Terrin tried to prepare himself mentally for the glum reality. But he was instead so shocked by what he did see that both of his eyes snapped wide open to analyze the situation further. He blinked once. Twice. Then he unwrapped the right arm that his eyes told him he really did have around Galen and held it up, palm towards his face. Stared at it curiously for a minute or two, then wiggled the fingers just a bit to see if the image remained.

Okay. So it’s a bit weird because you know this is a prosthetic arm...Jeez, but MD-15 didn’t waste any time!...but at least the feelings are REAL now, as opposed to ones made up by your damaged nerves.

Rotating his new arm back and forth in front of his face, he examined the droid’s handiwork. My, but medical technology has gotten really impressive, he thought. Looks and feels like the real thing. Not even a hint of where the control opening is either.

Still looking at the arm thoughtfully, Terrin practically ignored MD-15 as he scurried over to him. “The arm is satisfactorily functioning,” the droid explained in a whiney mechanical voice. “Need other adjustments, it should not.”

“Yeah,” he said, nodding to himself more than to MD-15, somewhat spooked at his new arm being referred to so technically. Well, a little voice in his head pointed out, That’s because it IS something technical. It isn’t even real. But instead of voicing these thoughts he said to the droid, “You do nice work.”

“Thank you, Sir. You will be needing to get up some this day, but you must be careful sir. You will tire easily.”

Terrin grimaced a bit. This should be fun, he thought sarcastically. But, some other little voice that he was very thankful for added, At least you are alive to get up and move around. Take that for all that it’s worth.

Smiling softly, he took his new right arm, determined to get over the initial qualms of it not really being his, and rubbed Galen on the shoulder. “Hey sleepyhead, wake up,” he whispered in her ear. “I need need a chaperon to help me storm the ship...”

[ 01-03-2002 08:16 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Terrin Danner ]

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