my profile | register | search | faq | forum home | switch id
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
»  The Holonet Boards   » Our Galaxy.......   » Beyond Star Wars   » You can help!

UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Printable Version
Author Topic: You can help!
BobPalpatine



Foo Fighter

Member # 17

posted 09-04-2002 03:13 PM     Profile for BobPalpatine   Author's Homepage   Email BobPalpatine     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
You Can Help a Major League Ball Player!

Since September 11, 2001, Americans have come together as never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome tremendous adversity.

We have weathered direct attacks on our own soil, wars overseas, corporate scandal, layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, and a myriad of economic and physical disasters both great and small. But now, we must come together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.

Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are living at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure salary level.

And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming strike situation.

But you can help! For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help!

Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball Player it could mean the difference between spending the strike golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, two unemployment checks, or a month of medical insurance with COBRA, but to a baseball player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary.

Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

How Will I Know I'm Helping?

Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the strike on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

How Will He Know I'm Helping?

Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

Yes, I Want To Help!

I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is checked below:

[ ] Infielder

[ ] Outfielder

[ ] Starting Pitcher

[ ] Ace Pitcher

[ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team - $10 per minute)

[ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day)


Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the player for the duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 Income Statement and my very own Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).


Your Name: _______________________

Telephone Number: ____________________

Account Number: _____________________ Exp.Date:_______

[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover

Signature: _______________________

Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):

Account Number: _____________________Exp.Date:_______

[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover

Signature: _______________________

Mail completed form to MLB Players Union or call 1-900-TOO MUCH now to enroll by phone ($10 per minute).


Disclaimer: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the player they have sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but not limited to, telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or third parties. Contributions are not tax-deductible

--------------------

"Can't you hear my motored heart? Your the one that started it!"

-Foo Fighters "Generator"

Cogito ergo sum

BobPalpatine
Holonet Admin


Posts: 681 | From: St. Charles, MO, USA | Registered: Jun 2000  |  Logged: 204.184.55.179
Loban



Padawan

Member # 253

posted 09-04-2002 03:37 PM     Profile for Loban   Author's Homepage   Email Loban     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Am I to laugh now... ok, I will... just because it is so true...

but, I must also tell you, it would have been better had you posted it before 8/30 the strike date...


Posts: 1163 | From: Ardmore, OK | Registered: Jun 2002  |  Logged: 66.156.196.239
Padme of Hidden Lake



Really Nice Member

Member # 107

posted 09-04-2002 10:48 PM     Profile for Padme of Hidden Lake   Author's Homepage   Email Padme of Hidden Lake     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
wow that is funny!

--------------------

A friend once told me "The Turtle Moves" I think we should all remember that right now...
Don't dance to live, live to dance!


Posts: 319 | From: Wandering the planet | Registered: May 2001  |  Logged: 204.168.82.9
Mara1Jade



Expanded Universe Goddess and Corran Obsessor

Member # 68

posted 09-05-2002 09:47 AM     Profile for Mara1Jade   Author's Homepage   Email Mara1Jade     Send New Private Message   Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote
Just a seven figure salary? HOW HORRID! I must sign up right away, and pay with my zero figure salary!!!

*wonders if there is something wrong with the above statement*

--------------------

Small minds think in small terms!
~~CMH, creator and writer of Shayla Petrolu, Erik Kartan, Shawn Petrolu, Terrin Danner, Jasyn Lancaster, Matt Stanza, Aaron Barnes, And Taylor Garrison~~


Posts: 972 | From: Jacksonville, FL, USA | Registered: Sep 2000  |  Logged: 66.20.157.94

All times are CT  

Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic    Move Topic    Delete Topic    Top Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | The Holonet Boards


Ultimate Bulletin BoardTM 6.04e

© escape pod 2000-05