as he thought backwards, he considered what had already been said, and again his head shook, "the love he bares must be for his children, for while indeed, he left ShaRhylla to our mercy, he likewise knew that we would not harm her, and soon after sent his ally to take her from us... and also, within the valley of the dark lords, the fact that ShaRhylla had denied her mother, the tone of his voice...could only be described as pride in the loyalty..."

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Within his sleep he held a little dream, a quiet little place where his mind found comfort...

He stood walking about through the forest in utter awe of all about him, smiling as he heard the birds sing, and the leaves whisper to him, the breeze as there voice...

as he walked along suddenly he was on a stone pathway, which soon met an intersection...

his head turned down one way, where stood a large temple, atop of which was a sphere of darkness, the temple radiated utter evil... the simple coldness of the place forced him to take a step back...

Head turning once more he viewed the other path at the end of which sat a temple which was the oposite, clearly radiating a golden light of warmth...

Instinctivly he turned down the path to the warmth of the golden temple, wanting to find what good and light lived within.

But soon his mother stood in front of him, shaking her head slowly, "one must be willing to act from a standpoint of good, and also completly willing to act in a standpoint of evil, balance is required..."

he looked at her a moment, and as he turned about to look behind him, he found he was again at the little intersection, looking between the temples in wonder if which way he should go...

As he looked on, remembering his mothers words, he felt something churn within him, and quite suddenly he saw another of himself, though this one held glowing red eyes, and wore a devilish grin...

And that half of him, clearly the darkness which all life possessed, ran off towards the dark temple...

as he looked he thought immidiatly that his mothers words meant thus, so he quickly ran towards the light, yet to his confusion merly found himself back at the starting point once more, standing beside his darker side...

He looked at the almost mirror image of himself, which only growled at him and spoke in a hating tone of voice "Leave me alone! i want to go where i belong!" that boy quickly ran off towards the dark temple...

Jharu turned slowly to see that once more his mother was there.
"Jharu...It is difficult to achieve the required balance for the fact that those who consider themselves good cannot cross that barrier into the purity of evil, embracing it with outstretched arms, and willing it to let them act in its stead. In a like manner, those who are evil more than likely cannot act in what would be considered a manner truly pure and selfless"

He then looked away from his mother and to his alter ego, which was once more snarling beside him in anger...

"Going there will not help you... Go there" Jharu spoke to his evil, and pointed to the glowing temple that simbolized the will of good... "i think your suposed to go there..."

While jharu would normaly have a hard time convincing a being of evil to enter this, they were one, simply two sides of one being, and therefor his understanding was the understanding of the dark one beside him...

He watched as the dark version of himself treaded slowly towards the light, growling and pausing constantly, not wishing to enter such a place...

His vision then turned to the dark temple, and he shuddered as he realized he must go...

His steps came slowly, every moment bringing him more fear... closer to the icy feeling, as he approuched he saw images of a slain darra, images of Terrin's torn body...

those images seemed to become one seen, also showing many other deaths, many other negative resaults... And upon that he saw himself, holding a bloodied blade and looking down at the corpses with a smug look...

The sight horrified him and he instantly took rapid steps backwards, not wanting to go to a place that could promise him the possibility of killing... Killing family...

as he had when feeling darra's death, cold wracked him, he came down into a little ball shuddering, wishing that this hadnt been asked of him...

But his mother had spoken of balance... and he DID want to understand what it was that was in him... did he have to enter such a painfilled place? a place where the good of his heart could no longer exist?

"but... I... I dont have to! I dont have to be evil! i dont! i have to be both! i can choose, in some times i must... But... This, i dont have to kill those i love? do i?

"Balance... She said... there is no good or evil? but... if theres no good or evil... Then why am i here? why am i?"

as he finished the world spun and he suddenly found himself on his back... he stood slowly to find that the intersection was gone, and his darker half as well... Though, he didnt quite feel the same...

As his gaze lifted he saw that now there was only one temple, this one seemed niether light nor dark, it simply was...

quietly, making sure he was not once more making a mistake, he took a step forwards... With that step he felt a decision... He felt the both the disire to do good, and the cold of commiting evil acts...

And that is how it continued untill he stood within the temple, his mind whirling about these concepts.

he looked down at his hands each one held a blade... one blade was stained with blood... The other was similar, yet somehow different, as if the blood was a resault of an intirly different motive...

as he blinked he held only one blade, it was the sword he had claimed from the temple of K'eel doba...

That blade seemed filled with infinate possibilities... He could remember, using it only once... And that was to free galen from the darkness... He knew it held potential for good... Yet, his father had told him, that the difference between a warrior, and a killer, was wisdom, and intent, without proper thought of his actions, he was simply a killer... Yet what defined that? Who was to say what he thought of as something for good was not really a painful and horrid mistake?

as he thought suddenly his sister was before him, laughing at all the pain in the universe...

He felt his grip upon the blade tighten, and he rushed in and attacked her, he felt a rush of utter relief enter him as he looked upon the faces of those that had been hurt by her, seeing that they no longer felt pain...

As he turned around his smile vanished, for beside her corpse was his own mother, looking down saddined, he knew that his sister was evil... So did his mom... But he could sense she was sad...

He approuched quickly, dropping his sword and running to his mothers side, that while she did not deny him her love, she did seem different, she was sad... he had killed her daughter, killed his own sister...

he quickly screamed out in protest "IM SORRY MOMMY! I didnt want to hurt you! im sorry..."

he then stood, backing away from his deed quietly. He turned about again and saw a dark figure, he hadnt seen this one before, couldnt see a face, but a name came to mind... it was roan, holdign a sword, wielding great strength, uttering words of wishing to destroy jharu for his lack of heart...

Jharu took a step back once more, this time from the dark one that now wished to destroy him for destroying ShaRhylla, he remembered words of roan loving his childred from his parants, had his actions hurt both this sith, and his mother?

he shook his head and turned to run, running as fast as he could untill he was deep within a room, sword discarded, hiding beneath a little table...

Soon his mother was with him, smiling sadly, and wrapping him in a hug... she was speaking of things... But he couldnt understand... He couldnt...

He understood... It was not hard to hear the words she was speaking... once more he was standing outside, in an open field this time, his mothers arms tightly about him whisperign. "there is no good or evil Jharu, There simply is... You must step back, and view the 'big picture'"

he then was once more along, standing within a small room.

no good or evil... a "big picture" ? Then... What does that mean?

then his father was there beside him, "you know the answer Jharu... Look within yourself, a warrior must always know himself, even before he knows his task... Without knowing yourself completly, you can never fully understand what it is you are doing... "

as his lips opened to ask a question his father was gone...

Jharu awoke with a snap taking a deep breath he sat upright.

"im... I... A dream? but... it was so... No NO NO! it wasnt a dream! dreams are illusions! hopes! this was me... your right father... I must no myself, while this dream has given me chance to learn, a chance to see... Seeing, knowing, having a chance, this things are not enough, i must act on them... I must know myself. I wanted to understand what was happenign to me... but it isnot happenign to me, it is happening FROM me... i must know myself..."

He then sat upon the floor, taking a deep breath and letting his mind clear, considering what he had seen within his "dream"

Every action has a reaction... This "big picture" is this learnign to see what your actions will cause? learning to know what you are doing before you do them? If i were to kill my sister, yes, Many would be happy, but, others sad, would that be the course needed to take?

mother, i think i understand... Am i suposed to think before my actions? if there is no good or evil as you have said, then there is only what people feel, so to have balance.. is it simply realizing that balance is not alternating between good and evil... For, to do so would simply be changing your alignment... But... Instead, is it the realization, that every action, no matter the course, is indeed acting in BOTH good AND evil?

I must know myself father... I understand... so then i ask... What do i desire?

I want to do good, i want to help... You and mommy taught me in that way, that helping others, that, going beyond your own desires is a wonderful thing...

But, how to i do that? I must hurt some to help others?

To save a friend, i must kill a demon... And that demon, whether true to the name, or simply a person that would indanger another... Has pain... Feels pain...

So... To heal one, another must hurt?

And to take an apple for yourself, means another will not have that food when they are hungry and stumble accross the same tree you have...

Jharu continued to take deep relaxing breaths, allowing his mind to absorb what he was comming to realize... Whether or not his thoughts were correct, he felt a strange peace within himself, realizing that while of late there had been much death, and much cold, he had it within him to accept... He wasnt required to allow that death to overcome him...

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And somewhere comes a glimmering to beckon faintly to those vast otherings, which waft lowly now to send into slumber the shining mind of a boy....

[ 01-03-2003 02:15 AM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by The All ]

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Hey, one lil drink can't hurt...

In the same motion he lowered the flask and eyed it strangely as the taste of whatever liquor started tickling his taste buds. He grimaced a bit, then licked his lips as if considering even as he returned the flask to its owner.

Hmmm...can't say I ever tasted THIS before...

To give voice to that thought, Jasyn turned once again to look at Flac, saying, "What the Hell is that stuff?"

Then for a moment he fell silent, at last removing a hand from his blaster for but a moment to extend it. "Name's Jasyn Lancaster," he said, shaking Flac's hand. "And if you think you need a drink I'll have to introduce you to Sith brandy sometime soon."

Finally turning his attentions then to the others sitting about discussing, Jasyn stated what he thought about the whole situation plainly and briefly. "I understand there is a need for us to have some sort of plan," he started, a memory flashing in his mind.

Ummm...what are our plans? Strategies? You do know of these things?

He jerked himself from the thought, "...but when it's all said and done there is only one way we are going to stop Roan for good."

Images and memories once again began rising within him. Of a time back aboard the Devil when they'd nearly lost Terrin, and that thing of Roan's had done something to Galen. Of Sullust. And now of the more recent and horrible images of a young girl, whose life had only begun, her body torn and abused. Jasyn clenched his teeth, those images making him angrier by the second.

"He deserves nothing other than death. And really, we can sit and debate for days over what Roan possibly loves, but how is that going to help us? It's not something we can take from him no matter what we do, no matter if we figure it out, especially not if we are talking about someone that he truly loves.

"But what I do think will help us his his strong confidence in himself. He expects what he has done to defeat us, to destroy us; I doubt he expects us to come back strong and soon from this. Therefore, we absolutely must, for this may be the only time when we can strike him offguard."

At that he quieted, waiting to see what anyone might have to say in reply.

[ 01-03-2003 10:30 AM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by Jasyn Lancaster ]

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he then looked deeply at the man, "you see, Roan is most likely expecting exactly what you suggest, He has done what he has, in order to let rage blind is, and make us charge onward into yet another prededermined situation, where he will again take victory, and again move on, and prepare for another confrontation..."

He then turned his gaze outward towards the viewing space before them, gazing at the stars. "It is difficult, because in order to ever defeat him, we must somehow turn his trap into our own... and unfortunatly, this is what he will be expecting... "

his eyes closed and he sighed, "though you are indeed correct, his death, Mr. Lancaster, is all he deserves... he has done to much to hurt the innocent, and done to much simply to control us...

As for his love, it is simple... Look at yourself, craving his death as though it were your first meal in a year... how has he achieved this? how has he manipulated us all so easily? it is always about love, Jasyn, He kills darra, and could have easily taken her body, and dispoused of it, could have killed her at any time, but he play's upon our love, and play's upon memories of love...

If we can find his love, find this source that gives him usage of a power taking balance of good and evil, then we would be able to understand for what his actions are, and begin to regain our footing..."

His eyes closed as he remembered the feelings radiating from Jharmeen as she relived her memories earlier, there had been 5 distinct accounts, 5 different horrific outbursts from her...
and as he remembered that moment, he reached out to reassure his dear love as he spoke his next words, not wanting her to have to go through those feelings again.

"Roan has created more children then he needs... If all of the scientists efforts were successful, he would have 5 children, aside from ShaRhylla... Why the need for so many? it has been said that 2 children could brign back the sith, he would only need to create one child to go with ShaRhylla. But he has made more."

He looked about as if in warning before continuing, "the wise warrior knows that there is possible danger in everything... ShaRhylla was no warrior, if he could teach her to control her powers to the extent she did, then he would hve time to teach her how to use a sword at least somewhat, yet when she held a sword, it was without even the barrest knowledge, to her it was merly a blade that had an edge... Roan is a warrior though, to not teach his child even a small amount of swordplay, would mean that this child was not meant to see true battle at any time... I believe, dispite his giving her to us when she failed, that roan's love is for ShaRhylla... and so, she would not be involved in the bringing back of the sith, for he does not wish to put her in the fray of battle... In the temple of S'slan there was a kaminian lab, it was broken... within there were 3 chambers that had recently been used... 3 children, 2 to revive the sith, and 1 to protect the other two durring there actions, for truly, do we know how long it would take this procedure to be completed? the barrest of interuptions might ruin it... "

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"This is so," she said at last, letting her fingers fall from her mouth and straightening up. Though pain stabbed yet again at the mention of her ordeal beneath Roan's not-too gentle "embrace," she stood firm, not allowing that pain to show in her stance or tremble in the timbre of her voice.

It only shone out from her violet eyes, for indeed are they the windows upon the soul. And although her love had taken that burden from her heart, a touch yet remained, a touch to give her fortitude and revenging strength, yet a touch to cast the smallest shadow of sorrow into her gaze. Only with the death of roan would that shadow finally depart altogether.

"I can feel it. He is so certain of himself; the love he bears, that love by which he can maintain hold on the last power to him, is for our daughter ShaRhylla.

"But--"

Her voice trailed off and she turned her wide eyes up to let them fall into those of her husband. Her hands moved up his chest, taking the fabric of the simple undergarment he wore, now all he was wearing since offering his Robes of Office as shroud for her niece, and knotted it between her fingers.

"To leap ahead in this foul game we are contrived to play, we must once again take command of my daughter. Only by holding her do we have a modicum of control over Roans movements, I believe. But to do that, we must go to where she dwells... where the Valley of the Dark Lords has likewise been moved, where I know he will be fleeing with the get of our..."

She paused, gulping slightly.

"Union.

"And this is back into the Darker Realms...."

Now her voice trailed off entirely and she laid her head against Recinis's broad chest, there to listen to his calming heartbeat so as to soothe into normal rhythm the suddenly increasing tempo of her own.

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