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TheKnot
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posted 05-16-2003 01:43 PM
Gonna be doing some venting over here. This list I'm making up is based on people who play video games that need to be strapped to chairs and beaten with self-help books. I wouldn't have written this if I wasn't surfing the 'net for reviews on the "Enter The Matrix" game that just came out and...well...just read...
1. Any person who writes a review for a game that hasn't even come out yet. This applies to both reviewers that give high and low scores, basing their choices on mere screenshots and trailers they have seen so far AND NOT ACTUAL GAMEPLAY. This goes especially for people who write a review, but give an average score because "they don't know what to expect." 2. A gamer who reviews a game and gives it a low score because "it wasn't what they wanted." Do I need to point out how retarded this is? I don't need to read some jerk-off's opinion on a game that he didn't like cause it wasn't like the one he imagined. That's right, his "imaginary game." Sometimes thats the problem with previews; they only give you samples of the game, and they leave the rest to your imagination. Unfortunately, these self-righteous morons took it a little too far, and now they feel cheated. 3. Any "gamer" who commits a criminal act and claims he/she was influenced by a video game. The media really loves the cases, cause they can use them to show how "dangerous" video games can be. In my opinion, any retard that dresses up as some kind of SWAT guy from Counter-strike and goes to a school and mows down half-a-dozen people ALREADY had mental problems. Odds are, he would've snapped anyway, but the game he was playing acted as a catalyst for it. I also hate these people because they don't take responsibility for their actions, and as a result, give video games a bad name. 4. Gamers you meet online who think their better than you because their a member of some shmuck "clan" or "tribe" or are "high up in the ladder." I find these guys pretty amusing: "Don't mess with me, man, I'm part of the l33t007KillSquad Clan, and we're number 1 in the WW2:What if We Killed The Commies tournament!" "Oh, really? I'm part of the RealWorldOutsideYourHouse Clan, but we have no tournament ranks because we had better things to do with our time. Of course, you probably haven't heard of US before..." 5. MMORPG (or whatever) gamers. I hate these world-online, multiplayer games because its pile of bull$%!@. "You need to pay monthly fees to keep our servers going" my ass! One year, and you would've payed these bastards $120 for a $20 game. But why am I taking this out on the gamers themselves? I'm referring to people who have married themselves over these games, and probably divorced a few weeks later. I mean these "fanatics" who let these games run their lives that I'm sure you've heard about... 6. These idiots who support cheating online, but don't do it themselves. "Hey, isn't the object of the game to win? You can't blame a guy for that." I'm sure you'll say that to yourself next time when you've been shot in the head inside a house by a guy flying in the air armed with a .22 pistol. You're wrong, and so are your hacking buddies, you wanker. Speaking of which... 7. Gamers who cheat online. I hate these skill-less scumbags, who make everyone's fun in a game turn to crap because of their uselessness. As if scoring a 60-0 score using an auto head-shot hack makes them any better... 8. Online gamers that do some "Arab-bashing" as they chat, but say their not racists. Even better: a guy "insults" another player by calling him a Jew, even though he hasn't met one before. Somebody take "Mein Kampf" away from these blind retards, please. 9. Game reviewers that give low scores by exagerrating on minor bugs that they, for some reason, take personally. "I subtracted 15 points because I keep hearing a faint, 3-second buzzing sound in the background that occurs every 45-minutes." Uh, huh. This kind of crap doesn't deserve a response. But THIS on the other hand... "I gave it a low score because the controls were weird." Oh really? Did it ever occur to you, genius, that there is something called OPTIONS in the game? Maybe you should play your game a LITTLE bit longer than 5 minutes to check this out, or just read from the manual you threw in the trashcan.[I still got some more stuff to complain about, but since this is taking too long, I'm gonna cut off this topic here.] [ 05-16-2003 01:45 PM: Message edited 1 time, lastly by TheKnot ] |